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Tuesday, June 23, 2009
emo again..what else? =(

For nearly 16 years of living in this world, I’ve finally learned the real meaning of TRUST! i’ve been so stupid all this while, believing people who I should not believe..
I’ve also trusted people who doesn’t even trust and understand how I felt..it’s really hard for me to trust anyone starting from now onwards..the more I trust a person, the more hurt I’ll get..i just don’t understand why must people be so selfish and think for themselves and not for others..for me, trust is seriously important in my life cause without trust, we can’t get along in any relationship..don’t you think so?
I ‘m seriously sick of all this!! so fed up already la..why can’t you people try to understand how I feel ah.. it’s NOT because of jealousy or anything.. it’s because of your understanding towards me and how you actually treat me.. i’m really feeling down now.. i can’t talk to anyone about it because I don’t wanna make things bigger and cause any problem to my friends.. i just keep everyting to myself until the limit where I can’t stand it anymore so I decided to write about how I felt and all, here.. i seriously can’t take it la! This is not the first time kay.. i’ve been through all this stuff for so many times.. i kept trusting the wrong person..WHY?! arghhhhhh…I just hate myself for everything.. i hate myself for being so dumb! i hate people around me who doesn’t understand me! i hate people who love to act good in front of me and then backstab me from behind! i hate my life! Particularly, I hate everything! Life is so unfair!! The trust for me in the person has slowly gone off, day by day.. what can I do? You don’t know how I felt and I bet that you wouldn’t know that I cried silently whenever I think about you.. You just don’t understand and you will never understand how I actually felt.. *sigh*
what to do? This is my fate rite..
Somehow I just felt that I’m not being appreciated..what is the use of me, caring about other people when there’s no one appreciates it? It’s totally a waste of time!
i just hate it when you pretend to be good with me which is not sincere at all... I don’t need any sympathy from you.. I just want you to be yourself.. don’t treat me good for the sake of trying to make me happy or something.. I doesn’t want all this to happen and it’s not worth it.. I know that the truth will appear to me one day and it will hurt me even more.. so please be yourself and I’ll try to keep my distance away from you to prevent myself from getting more hurt than before..
And I can’t understand why must those ‘BIG MOUTHS’ talk and backstab other people when they have no topic to talk? They don’t have other better work to do izit? Can’t you people just keep your mouth shut and keep quiet ah? Study la! now is not the time for you people to talk this and that..what matters now is, STUDIES!!

Blogged @ 7:35 AM | 0 comments